A Post From Zandar!

Hey All!  This is a posting from the viewpoint of Zandar, sister to Pregnant-B extraordinaire!  Let me start by saying that I am SO psyched to be an aunt!  I have been trying to plant the idea of pregnancy to B pretty much since her wedding, so needless to say I am ready for this!

          Babies.  Those of you that know me know that I am kind of obsessed with them.  Ok, not kind of, I am completely obsessed with them.  I think I inherited it from my father, who always pointed them out to us when in our vicinity (mall, church, restaurants).  There is just something magical about the little ones.  I remember holding my younger cousins as infants and just loving everything about them.  The tiny feet, hands and nose.  The adorable hiccups, sneezes and yawns.  It just doesn’t get better than that.  So it is no wonder that I would want B and Ivan to start up right away!

          As many of you know, B and I have a freakish bond.  She is the only person I can be around for more than 48 hours and not completely snap at.  It doesn’t matter what we are doing (watching TV, shopping, eating, Starbucks-ing, rock scrambling – yes, I’m still sorry about that one!), we have the best time.  She is my everything and to think that we will be adding a new buddy to our very exclusive club is kind of the best thing ever.  I do think that B is a little nervous that I may ditch her and just take on her and Ivan’s new addition as my sole playmate; however, I promise that I will keep her in tow!

          Watching B go through this process has been both enlightening and exhausting haha!  Let me start with the latter.  Exhausting because when B does something, she does it the right way and she goes all out.  She immerses herself in whatever task she chooses to take on and pregnancy has been no different.  The books have been read, rules have been followed and precautions have been taken.  It makes me tired just to think of all the things she is doing.  AND SHE HAS A JOB ON TOP OF IT ALL!  How she does it all is beyond me but it is very inspiring.  It has also been enlightening.  Before this, I had a very blind perception of pregnancy, a basic understanding of things; however, seeing B go through it has been VERY educational.  I am grateful that when, God-willing, I have a child of my own that I will have a clearer view of the entire process.

          Above all else, I know that B is going to be a great mother.  B and Ivan are going to be great parents.  Their dynamic has already changed a bit and it really warms your heart to see the renewed respect for one another.  Together and with their families, this baby is going to be so loved!

          

Pregnancy Cliche

Well, here we are, at the precipice of the third trimester, and all I can think is, "Geez, am I textbook or what?"

During the first trimester, I was, by all accounts, a slug.  Life consisted of dragging myself out of bed at the last possible moment, driving to work, doing my makeup in the parking lot, driving home, collapsing on the couch, watching embarrassing amounts of Law and Order while eating embarrassing amounts of peanut butter (on toast, on granola bars, on apples, on a spoon, with or without chocolate chips) and dragging myself upstairs to bed to start the entire process over again.

The second trimester may have been the best I've ever felt- even pre-pregnancy.  I don't know if it was endorphines or "the glow" or just the knowledge that you're supposed to feel great during the second trimester, but whatever it was, it worked.  I had lots of energy, was ambitious and motivated and my physical symptoms were somewhat limited (aside from the growing bump and leaking bladder, of course!)  I fully intended to carry this energy with me through to the end of the pregnancy- I was going to be the exception to the rule and be the most dynamic of super-pregnant ladies.

And then Sunday night hit.

Sunday, of course, was the NFC Championship game, and my team, the Giants, were playing in it.  The game was intense right through to the last play- ending in overtime- a.k.a. way past my bedtime.  Of course I wouldn't have missed it- couldn't have slept through it if I tried.  My heart was pounding for much of it (though Zandar did catch my sleepy expression a couple of times and tried to insist that I go to bed.  She also tried to keep me from my excessive celebration, you know, so I didn't go into labor.  She's so funny).  When the Super Bowl match up was locked up, I immediately hit the sack and conked out.  Only to be awakened a few hours later with the most insane heartburn I have ever experienced in my life.

I had heard about the heartburn and read about the heartburn, but thought that I was just getting lucky, as I had with a number of other symptoms.  Turns out that I didn't dodge this one.  It was there, and it brought with it the vengeance of all of those other symptoms I had skirted.  For hours, I laid in bed and felt the firey heat rise up from my chest through my throat over and over and over again.  I was burping and tossing and turning for much of the night.  It was a truly heinous experience that I couldn't fully wrap my mind around because I was in that weird foggy, sleepy state where you can have an hour and a half long debate with yourself about the pros and cons of getting up to use the bathroom.

Luckily, since then, it has not been as bad, though it's been persistent.  I've stopped having any carbonated beverages, like the seltzer I begrudgingly replaced my nightly diet root beer with after getting pregnant.  I don't even like seltzer, but it felt like more of a "treat" than plain water, to which, it would seem, I am now relegated.  I also can't eat large amounts of food at one sitting any longer, which is foreign territory for me because, as you know, Mama likes to eat.  If I stuff myself to the point where I usually do though, I feel like the food is piling up within my esophagus.  Gross.  So small meals, water, and Tums it is, at least for now.

In other news, Baby H is getting big!  He or she is about 14 1/2 inches this week and weighs around 2 lbs, or as the pregnancy app I have says, "weighs about as much as a head of cauliflower."  Remarkably, if she or he was born today, Baby H would be just fine- with lots of medical help, of course. That is pretty darn amazing!  I can feel when he/she has the hiccups, which is about once or twice a day.  Baby H is very active, especially when I play music on my Belly Buds- little headphones that adhere to my belly.  It is so funny to feel him or her kick around in response to classical music, or more recently, the sound of Ivan's voice.  We are getting so antsy to meet our new little family member.

Speaking of Ivan, we continue the pregnancy cliche by being the new, nesting parents.  Over the past two weeks, we've had some painting done, including Baby H's nursery.  The little room has been emptied of the tons of junk we didn't even know we were storing in there and Ivan has rebuilt the closets- one for linens and the other for the baby, complete with dressers and tiny little hangers.  Thanks to our amazing parents, our crib and mattress are on their way to our house and things are really coming together.  I must confess that Ivan was right when he consoled me a few weeks ago during a slight panic attack about our preparedness by saying that it will be done before we know it.  Funny how the quote from the movie "Old School" really rings true:

"We've got a nice little Saturday planned out- a trip to Home Depot, maybe Bed Bath and Beyond... I don't know- I don't know if we'll have the time."

Our lifestyle is changing already.  Though we're still trying to see friends on the weekends, have people over, play with the band, there's no escaping it.  We're becoming those people- what do you call them?  Oh yeah- parents.

They Say That...

Have you heard the expression, "Having a child is making a decision to let your heart walk around outside of your body for the rest of your life," ?  I first heard it many years ago, back when having a child was just an amusing thought- something that I would surely do someday, when I was much older and got around to it.  Even then, though, the words hit me like a ton of bricks.  What a poignant way to express the intensity of having a child.

I've thought about these words often over the years, and of course never more frequently than now, with Baby H's immanent arrival no more than 14 weeks away.  What a terrifying thought- that no matter how safe you try to be, no matter how carefully you try to shield them, there are some circumstances in which it is impossible to protect your children.  Whether it be from bodily or emotional harm, at a certain point you are limited in what you can do to save your child.

I got my first very small taste of this phenomenon last week during a routine 8th grade lunch duty.  Now, for those of you that have never had the pleasure, lunch duty in a school is a special affair.  Somehow, I have been blessed with this assignment for the past seven years- hall duty is a distant memory.  While the sheer grossness of these adolescents eating is enough to turn even the most iron of stomachs (ranch dressing is the condiment of choice on their school pizza) I have begun to develop an immunity to what I observe during this, the students' only free time during the day.  I have a vivid memory of my first year of teaching, when, upon seeing a student holding a chip bag in a strange way, I gave him a quizzical look and was told, "I poured my milk into my chips."  As I blankly told him to go throw it away, all I could think was, "This is my life.  This is what I do for a career."  But now, almost nothing shocks me.

I have witnessed two food fights over the years- one on "Breakfast for Lunch Day" (syrup is particularly fun to throw, it would seem) and many regular fights, as lunch seems to be the choice time to throw down when you are 13 years old.  Last year, in trying to break up a fight between two eighth grade boys, I got blood splattered all over me and had to go to the workman's comp doctor to be checked out... always fun.  (Okay, that did freak me out a little.  Okay, a lot.)

As my pregnancy has advanced  I have continued to monitor the kids during lunch time, walking up and down the aisles, in the beginning of the school year trying to suck in my tummy and keep from puking from the absolutely foul odors of cafeteria food mixed with Axe Body Spray and pubescent musk and more recently fielding questions from kids as to the gender of the baby (at least twice a day I'm asked, along with whether I will name the child after them- "Of course Chyna/Akershita/Jasiah/insert random ethnic name here" or if they can be the Godparent.  Okay, and don't judge me, but lunch duty is where I do my Kegal exercises.  I said DON'T judge me!  It makes the time go by faster and I feel as though I'm doing something productive.  Plus, if I sneeze, there is less of a chance of  peeing my pants in front of an entire grade level.

I also have used the time to run through multiple "bad situation" scenarios that would need to be avoided in my condition.  First, helping to break up a fight is out of the question.  I know that if there were a skirmish, I'd have to resist that teacher-ly urge to run to pull the kids off of each other- it's just too dangerous. I'd have to help out by doing crowd control over the microphone, or something else from a distance.  In the case of a food fight, I'd need to just leave the room entirely.  These things escalate really quickly and it wouldn't be worth it to be hit with something harder than spaghetti.  I've even planned my escape routes depending on where I was standing when stuff started to go down.

So here I am, thinking that I'm being responsible by considering all of these scenarios where I could protect myself and my baby.  And then, last week, while simply dismissing a table at the end of lunch, a student pushed back from his chair a little too quickly and clumsily and elbowed me.  In the stomach.  Hard.

I immediately clutched my stomach as tears sprang to my eyes and students looked on, horrified.  It was as though the wind had been knocked out of me- partially from the hurt and mostly from the shock.  It had happened so fast- there had been no way to prevent it.  Of course the child hadn't meant it, and you could tell that he felt terrible, but I didn't even have it in me to assuage his guilt and fear... I was too wrapped up in my own.  The kids are just so big (especially so now that I'm not wearing heels to work) and have so little control of their bodies that something as innocent as getting up from a table turned dangerous.

A teacher friend called the nurse for me and with her, I filled out an incident report.  I called my doctor and she eased my fears, telling me to monitor for bleeding, cramping and movement of the baby.  Everything was just fine- Baby H returned to jumping bean status after the initial shock wore off and by the end of the day I wasn't even sore anymore.  The sheer shock of it all stayed with me though, and continues to stay with me.

My wonderful administration has instructed me to stay up front in the lunch room, away from the kids and their uncontrolled limbs, and I have certainly been keeping my distance.  I'm even more careful now as I walk down the hall, and try to avoid crowds at all costs.

All this being said, I am still wrapping my mind around how quickly the whole incident took place and how little control I had over it.  And let's face it- this was a mere blip on the radar of things to come.  How many more times in my life will I have no control over what will happen to Baby H?  I mean- the child is inside my own body right now and I couldn't protect him/her. The future holds falling off of bikes, bullies at school- and how do you hand over keys to a car to a child who barely has more bodily control than my little angels at lunch duty?  I know these are not new questions and I also know that there is only so much you can do and should do to protect your child.  To keep your baby (whether 26 weeks or 26 years old) from any type of discomfort is not possible and also not healthy- for you or the child.  There is a certain amount of character building that comes from learning to stand up to a bully, from having to eat food that is unfamiliar, from having to cry yourself to sleep sometimes.  I just know that my heart will break, though, every time I am not able to step in a save the day.

So where do you draw the line?

So much to learn, Ladies.  So much to learn.

A Maternity-Sized Rant

Baby H is hiccuping away as I type!  My little eggplant- sized baby has been so active lately- he or she must want to get out and meet you all!  I've been trying, in New Year's Resolution style, to get back on track just a little since the insanity of the holidays.  I've been doing a lot of working out (but not over-doing it) and trying to eat well.  Something that is sure to set me off course, however, are the creations of Cecelia, my super-talented SIL.  She has started a new project and a blog to chronicle it-  making a new flavor of ice cream every week for a year!  I have selflessly volunteered to be a designated taster.  If you want to whet your taste buds, check it out here:  52 Scoops

So on to my rant...

Ever since I became pregnant I have been reading in books, magazines, and websites about how I am so lucky to be pregnant now because the fashions are so cute.  I am regaled with tales of tent-shaped dresses and mu-mus as the only choices for the pregnant women of generations before me.  I will be the first to admit that tent-shaped dresses and mu-mus are not cute.  But "cuter than 'not cute'" does not a cute maternity outfit make.  Let me explain.

First of all, my all time favorite stores are pretty much out of the question now.  To this point, I have been to Menlo Mall maybe 5 times in the past month and I have not even walked in Banana Republic once.  Not once.  While my wallet is probably breathing a sigh of relief, my closet is not.  I have already missed out on some pretty great fall/winter trends and now the spring lines are coming out and it is making this former fashionista a little envi-nista.  My other go-to place for great work clothes is The Limited, and when I went in to buy some Christmas presents last month I was surrounded by such great colors and slim shapes that I didn't know what to do with myself.  I had to quickly leave because I don't know if they have a "You Drool On It, You Buy It" policy.

And may I ask (or whine) why Gwen Stefani had to put out a line for Target now of all times???  Okay, sure, it's a children's line, but one of the benefits of being 5'2" is that sometimes you can fit into a size 12-14 in girls clothing, especially if it has a super-cute cartoon Gwen on it.  For those of you who think it is a little ridiculous for a 31-year old woman to walk around in clothes designed for 10 year olds (talking to you, Mom!) all I can say is that I need to have some sort of payoff for for these tiny boobs I possess.  Sheesh.  I actually stood in Target contemplating buying one of the adorable tees for after I (hopefully!) get back into pre-baby shape but figured that pushing around a newborn while wearing a cartoon mermaid t-shirt might be grounds for an episode of "What Not To Wear."  Then again, that wouldn't be such a bad plan... I would love for Stacy London to dress me in $5,000 of clothes from the city.  Hmmm... I get to wear the Gwen t-shirt and then go on an extravagant shopping spree?  This idea has some merit...

So, since I am pretty much relegated to the maternity section for the next few months, I've been trying to make the most of the situation.  Here's the problem though:  most maternity sections of stores are AWFUL.  First of all, the section is usually about the size of tuna can and the selection is about as exciting as what you'd find in a tuna can, if clothes looked like tuna smells.  Now I know that you think I sound whiny (I do) and that my standards are probably a little too high (they are) but I have witnesses!  My parents tried to buy me some maternity things for Christmas (they got me the CUTEST pair of pajamas) but told me on Christmas morning how they couldn't believe how bad the selection of maternity clothes out there is.  Zandar has been with me on excursions to attempt to buy some acceptable clothes and we have been met with either 1.)  the store we were in didn't have a maternity section or 2.) they did have a maternity section- AKA, two racks of picked-over, shapeless, tops in a variety of black, gray, and charcoal and some stretchy pants that look like pajama bottoms that are way too long for me even if I did like them.  But back to number one... yes, ladies, I DEIGNED to go into Walmart thinking that I could get something without breaking the bank, and they don't even have a maternity section.  Which will certainly make me re-commit to my own Number One Most Important Rule in Life:  Never go into Walmart.  Under any circumstances.  Ever.

In JC Penny I literally laughed out loud when, after being directed to the "maternity section" by a helpful sales woman, I turned the corner find a total of four styles of shirts.  That looked like they had been there since nineteen diggity-two.  In Kohl's (I had such high hopes for you, Kohl's!) the selection was only slightly better but still incredibly bland.  I am pregnant!  I'm not a beatnik!  Why, oh why won't they make clothes for me with some color?

This all being said, I've had some success at Target.  There's not a ton there, but at least some jewel-toned tops and a cute dress I wore for my concert.  My friend B bought me a lovely cowl-neck sweater that I look good in.  Or as good as a preggo lady can look.  The internet has also served me pretty well- and let's face it, ordering clothes online is fabulous:  you don't have to go through the hassle of trying on in the store and when they arrive, it's like Christmas all over!  Win-win.  And more recently, I have discovered the maternity section in Macy's.

Now, aside from the fact that the section itself is located on the basement floor, way past the plus-sized clothes in a little corner far, far away (I'm sorry Macy's, I don't want to hurt the eyes of your other slender, super model customers as I try to squeeze this new body into a pair of jeggings- please, hide me away from them) the section is quite enjoyable.  They carry mainly two lines:  A Pea in the Pod and Motherhood Maternity.  A Pea in the Pod can be summed up in two words:  "Yeah. Right."  Listen, I know I said that I never want to go back to regular jeans, but I am still not paying $119 for a pair of maternity jeans.  As I say to Ivan when he wants to get frisky anytime after 11pm, "What are you CRAZY?!"  While the Pea in the Pod stuff is by far cuter than any other maternity things, even I, Miss Money Burns A Hold In My Pocket, can't justify the prices for things that with any luck will only fit for a few months.

So that leaves Motherhood Maternity-  I have to say, their stuff has been serving me well and they have some pretty adorable designs.  In fact, I was quite excited to go there yesterday and check out any new stuff before meeting my fabulous friend, L, for dinner at the Cheesecake Factory.  Mmmm.... Cheesecake Factory...  (On a side note, L is my friend whom I met when I bought tickets to see Gwen Stefani from her on Craig's List.  We were both so fabulous we knew we had to be friends!  I thought I'd throw that in to go with the Gwen-theme of the post.)  So, after choosing a couple of tops, I simultaneously headed to the cashier and ran into L. I tell you this because L is my witness.

Upon checking out, first the saleswoman tells me that you cannot use any coupons in the maternity section of Macy's.  At all.  Now, any fool knows that you don't buy anything in Macy's without a coupon, ever.  I have those suckers stock-piled in my wallet so that at any time I can pull them out and say, "69.99 for these shoes?  Oh, I think not..." and Bam!  I can throw one of those little red cards down and feel a little less guilty about adding to my shoe collection.  So now you're telling me that not only do I have to grow a person for 9 months but I have to pay full price to clothe myself?  Am I missing something?  This hardly seems fair.

Then, to make matters even more irritating, the saleswoman doing my checkout looked at me, looked at the shirts, and then said, "Are you sure you don't want a size Medium?"  Flustered, I sputtered out something about how I'm sure they'd be fine (in truth I had been trying to decide between the XS and the S) and she CONTINUED to try to CONVINCE me that I probably should get a Medium.  I'm sorry- aren't these maternity clothes?  Aren't they supposed to allow for my belly?  And I'm also sorry, but if I want to go buy a size 0 string bikini right now (that is a horrifying thought, by the way) that is MY prerogative.  Who are you to judge what I should and should not be wearing?

I know, I know, I know... she was just trying to be helpful.  She probably even thought she was being nice.  But there are just some things that you don't say to a lady who already feels like a mini- Stay-Puff Marsh-mellow Man (meaning a shrunken down version of him, not one made of mini-marsh-mellows- that one sounds cute and convenient to eat) and suggesting she needs a bigger size is one of them.

So I guess I'll be doing most of my shopping for the rest of this pregnancy online- where there is variety, the ability to use coupons, and no one telling me that I look particularly whale-like and that shirt I'm looking at isn't going to cut it.  And in that respect, I know I AM luckier than the generations of pregnant women before me.  Who knows?  Maybe by the time I'm on Baby H #2 or #3 Gwen will have designed a maternity line.  With any luck, for Target.

So This Is Really Happening...

Happy New Year, Ladies!

I hope that every one's holidays were fun, festive, and full of joy.  I was so happy to be able to see many of you and catch up over my week-long winter break.  Also, thanks to those of you who wished me luck on my concert or asked how it went. Last I blogged, I was a bit of an emotional wreck over the whole thing, but I am so happy to report that it was a huge success- possibly my best concert yet.  And... I didn't cry!  I really relished the entire experience and I couldn't stop smiling the entire night- even long after I was settled on my couch with my hubby, my sister, and my Panera in anticipation of a full day of baking Christmas cookies ahead.  What a fabulous start to the holidays.  Once the concert was over, I felt a very strong sense of peace and calm.  I felt truly proud and grateful for what I have accomplished thus far in my career, but also felt like it was an appropriate place to end this chapter of my life (or at least to put a bookmark in there for awhile!).

Only adding to this blissful feeling was what happened on the following Friday, when the high school chorus came to visit and perform for my choir.  This is always one of my favorite days of the year, as the high school choir is made up primarily of my former students.  It is such a celebration- to see how they've changed, to hear how they and their families are- it truly is one of the highlights of my school year.  This year was no different- my little angels are all grown up (or feeling like they are all grown up, in some cases) driving cars, thinking about college and in general making me feel old!  Word had spread about my pregnancy and these teenagers were so excited about the prospect of me becoming a mom.  In fact, a large group of them chipped in and bought me a gigantic basket filled with beautiful baby things.  It was over-whelmingly touching to see this collection of onsies, sippy-cups, pacifiers, stuffed animals, blankets knit by moms, and especially the hand-written notes from these amazing students, who, are really still children themselves, but were able to think on such an adult level to give a gift like this.  The elation that day added to my sense of closure.  After 10 years, it is time for a new adventure.  I was one proud mama, in many senses of the word, that day.

Holiday festivities commenced immediately after school on the 23rd, and in many ways Ivan and I felt like we didn't get a chance to sit down until very late Christmas night.  There was much entertaining and visiting and we were left completely exhausted and contemplating how our Christmas traditions will need to change next year- as we imagine that things will not be getting any easier with Baby H around!  Joining families together can be difficult- especially when it comes to emotionally charged issues like family traditions.  I know that in my own family, we have had a dramatic change in our "typical" Christmas since our business closed and simultaneously our family started to expand.  These are happy problems to have though- how blessed are we to have so many people to see and love.  That being said, I had to sleep for the majority of the day on Monday just to feel human again, so we know that we will need to alter the "where" and "when" of seeing everyone with the baby for Christmas.

In the craziness of the holidays, a couple of baby things happened that would have received a lot more attention had they occurred on say, just a boring old Tuesday, but were almost overlooked due to the running around.

1.  My belly really popped!  I mean, I had had a bump before, but even my mom had to admit that it grew over the course of the week (and not just from the TONS of holiday goodies I consumed- and I do mean tons).  Non-maternity pants are out of the question, and therefore, a little shopping has ensued.  I have to say, my shape looks quite cute, but I have to laugh when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror sometimes.  It is just so foreign looking- but I love it!  Even after those nights of stuffing myself beyond belief and looking in the mirror at my bloated tummy thinking, "This is what it will look like when I'm pregnant" couldn't have prepared me for this new shape.

It was so fun to see my best friend from childhood over the break, since we haven't seen each other in a couple of months.  She was so excited to see how my belly had expanded and she gave one of her classic dramatic and audible gasps when she saw me.  And when I showed her the top of my maternity pants when she asked if I was wearing regular pants she nearly died.  I have to say, the huge stretchy panel which extends past your rib cage is quite shocking when you haven't seen them before.  I told her how I never want to go back to regular button -up pants and she said, "Oh no, you're going back."

uber-embarrassing to admit this, but there was a period of time, maybe 7 years ago or so, that I was working out twice a day and eating very little and I would go into the bathroom between periods at school, lift up my shirt and check out my stomach situation.  That sounds so sick as I read it back to myself.  But, it is true, and even though it has been years since I've been that obsessed with having a flat tummy, my abs are still one of those spots on my body on which I focus most.

So, it is a happy surprise that I feel absolutely no guilt or frustration about this rapidly growing bump- it looks so cute.  And to get really detailed:  Now matter how much Pilates I did or how few carbs I ate, I always felt like my upper abs were a little lumpy-  there is just a little too much skin there.  Enough so that when I was comparing my body to that of a 5'11", 105 lb. Victoria's Secret model (which we all know is a completely healthy activity) I would feel bad.  Well, these days I am blessing that extra bit of skin, because it is expanding beautifully and I don't have one stretch mark to speak of as of yet.  But you know what?  I think that even if I do get them I won't mind in the least- all of this cosmetic stuff seems so extremely trivial in the face of having a baby.

2.  Baby H is a-kickin' up a storm!  Now the size of an ear of corn, he or she is super active!  Until a week ago, Ivan's frustration would grow each day when I'd tell him of all of the movement, but despite his best efforts he could feel nothing outside my belly.  Then, during the Rutgers Bowl game (Baby H is a big fan), my mom actually saw my belly move from across the room after a particularly strong kick.  She had been staring it down, and Baby H blinked first.  As soon as Ivan got to Zandar's apartment where we were cheering on our team, I had him feel and lo and behold, he felt it!  He jiggled my belly a little bit and Baby H answered with a strong kick to his hand.  My mom and brother felt it as well and on New Year's Day, Zandar and Cecelia joined in the fun.  When Zandar slept over this past Wednesday, she saw a strong pulse in my belly and said, "That baby just kicked you!" quite indignantly.

This has been happening throughout each day now- especially when I sit down to relax.  I have read about how the mommy's movement will lull the baby to sleep.  It has become predictable now that when I finally collapse on the couch after work for some much needed relaxation and Bravo TV, Baby H bounds into action.  Most days I laugh out loud from the visible jumps in my belly that even some students have noticed at this point.  It's difficult to describe what it feels like when asked.  It's almost like a strong stomach flip when you are nervous, but truthfully, it's like nothing else I've ever felt- it's unmistakably "baby."

In addition to the bodily happenings, today I officially submitted my maternity leave letter.  I guess at some point I had to publicly acknowledge the fact that come the end of April, I won't be able to do my job anymore.  I've been living in just a little bit of denial, but with my student teacher starting this week, it's almost time to loosen my (death?) grip on the reigns.

So, between my letter submission, curvy new shape, the constant internal prodding, and our growing collection of toys and teeny, tiny baby clothes, it's seems there's no denying... this is ACTUALLY happening.  And I think it's going to happen before I know it.  With just a little more than 15 weeks to go, it's easy to get overwhelmed with all there is to do... shopping, painting and setting up the nursery, maybe reading a book about child care or two... I know it will go by in the blink of an eye.  I at once can't wait and want to tell Baby H to stay put for awhile longer, so we can be "ready."  But I guess you're never ready- are you?  :)