Where My Girls At?

Fair is fair... a post about girls to balance the one for the boys.  While I'm doing my best to be impartial, the two posts may be a little lopsided, because the ladies in my life are, for lack of a better term- thegreatestintheworldandoneofthebestpartsofmylife.  And it doesn't hurt that none of the ladies in my life have compared my eating habits to that of a garbage disposal (at least to my face- sorry, still getting over that!).  Below is a list of just some of the things the ladies in my life have done to bring sunshine to my days, which they do all of the time, but I especially appreciate now, as I'm in need of a little extra TLC in my overly emotional state.

So, to start out, let's talk about my girls.  I mean my girls- which are now, drumroll please... a size 32D.  Now, a 32 D is a lot different from say, a 36D, and comparatively speaking a size 32D bra still looks pretty small.  I don't have stripper boobs or anything, but I was definitely spilling out of my 32C, so my other girls, Zandar and Cecelia (for those who don't remember, that's my sister and SIL extraordinaire) lovingly welcomed me to "The Big Show- Literally" and helped me navigate the Maidenform outlet, because a good bra is hard to find.

Here are some more highlights of girls helping girls out as only we can (and I'm sorry- I'm sure I'm accidentally leaving some out!):

Two of my fabulous ladies have given me Rockabye Baby CD's- for those of you who don't know of them, they are rock songs done in the form of lullabies.  So now Baby H will be snoozing to the soothing sounds of Bon Jovi and Weezer!

Remember when I told you that the instructor on my Pregnancy Fitness DVD calls your butt your "buncake"?  And how I said that a buncake sounded delicious?  Well, one of my very close friends emailed me immediately to tell me that she thought the exact same thing (not surprising, because we have always been freakishly close- when I did my senior recital 10 years ago (!) she could actually sense which songs I was most nervous for.  Sympathy nerves!  I hope my labor isn't too tough on her.  :)  ).  But not only had she thought that a buncake sounded delicious, but she immediately looked for a recipe and found one for... wait for it... Pumpkin Buncake.  Enough said.

Another luscious lady gave me a stack of FitPregnancy magazines passed on from a friend, not to mention the best reaction to my pregnancy news ever.  Out of anyone.  I'm telling you- it was four minutes of straight screaming.  I couldn't possibly unglue the smile from my face as I listened to her on the other end of the line.  And you'd think it wouldn't have been a big deal to her- at the time her own sister was expecting twins (born happy and healthy a few weeks ago!).  I should have known better.  She internalizes others' joy like no one else.  It truly is a moment I will never forget.

My fantastic friend, B, (a fellow blogger!) gave me a goody bag of some of her favorite pregnancy products, along with amazing mom insights.  She is the first of our friends to have a baby, so we all watch and learn from her.  Not only that, though, she totally didn't judge me when I HOUSED a gigantic omelet and hash browns in front of her at brunch last week, while she was clearly trying to be so good with her eating.  And she certainly didn't make any disposal remarks.  :)

One of my work friends, who also happens to be one of my favorite people in the world, gave me a beautiful book to write down pregnancy memories.  But again, as much as I love it, it pales in comparison to her unique perspective on parenting and the encouragement she gives me all the time.  She made having a boy sound so much less scary when she told me of her pregnancy experience thinking she was growing a girl and finding out to her surprise that a little boy was on the way instead.

My bestie from childhood has been so excited throughout this whole pregnancy process. The photo from our first ultrasound is nestled in the frame (made specifically for ultrasounds!) she gave us.  She is in touch all of the time (she doesn't live close enough, but she's getting there!) and wants to know every detail of the baby happenings.  No matter how frustrating a day is, a talk with her leaves you feeling like the luckiest girl in the world because she is in your life.

A wonderful friend sent me an invitation to a Pregnancy Night Out, which I attended with her and Cecelia and Zandar.  While the event was lovely, the real treat was spending the night with her and comparing stories with her friend who is also expecting.

I can't really get into my family in detail here, because I will surely start crying all over my keyboard and break it.  Let's just put it this way:  my mother is the most amazing woman and mom in the world.  Never has an expectant mother had a better built-in role model.  Zandar is my heart.  I don't know how else to express how much she means to me.  The other aunts-to-be, Cecelia and Aunt R, are my new sisters and they more than live up to that title.  I know I can call on them for ANYTHING (especially baby-sitting when the time comes!).  My MILs are beyond excited and so supportive.  My grandmothers (and I include Ivan's in there too) are the most wise women and every piece of advice they give I treasure like gold.  My aunts and cousins are amazing-  My fabulous aunt, Wife of Hunter, sends me texts to put my every fear at ease- she is another great mommy.

As I mentioned in the previous post, the comments, emails, and encouragement from all of the ladies reading has been overwhelming and humbling.  We're talking about Cecelia's mom, Zandar's friends, a friend overseas, the greatest aunts and cousins in the world... I am one lucky and spoiled lady.  The fact that you take time out of your day to read, respond, send a message... honestly, I am so blessed.  And I know that you are doing all of this with so much going on in your own lives- among other things:  new homes, new additions to families, sick children, work, loss of family members, loss of pets, new marriages, apartment disasters, college... you are all so incredibly generous and you make me proud to be a woman.

There was a time when I was not so crazy about girls.  Women can be very nasty to each other, and being a middle school teacher I see more than my fair share of cattiness.  Girls can be so very mean.  And I'm ashamed to say that there have been times that I have been one of those mean girls.  It's one of the reasons that I'm scared to have a girl.  I just know how easily it is for girls to hurt and be hurt.  When boys are angry at each other they duke it out and it's over, but girls?  We can hold a grudge.  Forever.  And the psychological warfare that girls wage on each other is so much more painful than a black eye.  Will I be able to teach a daughter to be stronger than I was, to not succumb to the peer pressure of joining in the nastiness?  Can I be a good enough example? 

And what about when your daughter decides that she hates you or speaks to you in that demeaning way that girls can?  (I know- I still do it to my own mom at times, even now.)  That has got to be so painful. 

What if I pass on my own unhealthy focus on looks to her?  My mom was never like that but look how I turned out- OCD about my looks.  What would happen to a little girl in my care?  She'd feel like a little walking Barbie doll. 

Oh Ladies.  At least as a consolation I know that even if I'm a mess, a little girl would have a TON of  fantastic role models surrounding her in my family and friends.  I know that everyone freaks out about their own inadequacies and worries about the job they will do as parents.  I also gather that there is only so much you can do as a parent.  And I know that no one is perfect.  And if a bunch of amazing women like you think enough of me to show me the love that you do, then I can't be THAT bad.  :) 

By the way, one of my school secretaries performed a little "ceremony" of waving a treaded needle over my palm.  By the needle's circular motion, she "determined" that the turnip or onion (different websites, different vegetables) sized baby I'm carrying is female. 

Ahh!  The suspense is wonderful and frustrating.  It's going to be so difficult to say, "No, we don't want to know," in two weeks when we go for the body scan ultrasound.  By the way, we went to the doctor two weeks ago for a check-up and everything seemed a-okay with the then avocado-sized little buddy in there.  And really, that's the only thing we need to hear when we go to the ultrasound.  It's the only thing that matters, right?  :)